3 Simple Steps to Frustrate Frustration with Curiosity
By: Deb Maes
October 16, 2013
Frustration has to be the most frustrating emotion there is, don’t you think? It pops up so often in response to the trillion things in life that block us from achieving our result simply and easily and it saps our energy, making everything harder, wouldn’t you agree?
So, how do we disarm that emotion and get our control and energy back?
The answer: Get Curious About Frustration.
All parts of the body like curiosity. Curiosity actually strengthens our immune system by helping grow new T cells! Imagine that! It also helps grow new synapses in the brain.
When you’re curiously exploring something, have you noticed how a lot of negative stuff simply isn’t there, as a state of information-gathering begins?
So here is the 3 steps for how you can get curious about frustration:
1st, Notice the frustration you’re having and immediately explore it. Where is it in your body? How do you do frustration?
2nd, Ask yourself: “When did that start?” “What was I thinking just before that started?” “What am I saying to myself”?
3rd , Explore beneath the thinking you first notice. What images or sounds are associated with the frustrated feeling?
You’re likely to find that you’re talking to yourself, or it may even be someone else’s voice/s. I don’t know about you, but I can have several critics, all chiming in spontaneously noticing things, commenting or even criticising.
And, I’d be surprised if you didn’t find lots of images flashing through your mind. They are going on all the time, you know, but we usually don’t pay too much attention to the movies in our heads.
Our mental activity is a super-fast automated process. One way you can get to watch more of the movies in your head is to slow things down by: taking a few deep breaths, rewinding to the moments before the frustration and then run the mental movie at half speed, quarter speed, or in really slow motion.
Relax if you don’t catch all this hidden activity the first time you get curious, just remain curious.
The good news is as you become curious about how you do frustration it changes, because you can’t hold onto conflicting state simultaneously. Simply said, you can’t continue to be frustrated as you are being curious about it.
The even better news is, you are giving your brain a better choice and having been given a better choice, your brain will continue to choose that better option, so you can be curious about other mental states and how you do them too.
What do you think will happen then?