Life is not perfect until you actively choose to perceive perfection.
By: Divya Darling
July 14, 2019
Do you actively choose to perceive perfection?
Years ago when I was still riding the struggle bus everyday, I was afraid to reveal to anyone the depths of my despair. First of all, I didn’t want them to feel bad for me or worse, worry about me. So I kept my misery a secret partly out of concern for others.
And partly it was that I didn’t want to be judged. I felt perpetually unworthy – a waste of space on the planet – and I didn’t share that with anyone because that would be admitting that I’m not coping, and that was the last thing that I wanted to do. It was so important to me to maintain the facade and the pretense of “I’m alright. I’m doing okay.”
Back then I was very harsh and critical of myself. Not that I would’ve known that at the time, because I just saw it as having high expectations for myself. “Perfectionist” was the label that I gave to the judgment and the criticism I had of myself. And because I was constantly holding myself up to a standard that I could never reach, I never felt good enough. Maybe you can relate to this?
When I saw opportunities to get help, to train my brain, I was skeptical of every single one of them. I had countless reasons why every single one of them couldn’t possibly work for me. I mean, how could they promise results like that when they didn’t know me? ‘I’m different,’ I thought. ‘My brain doesn’t work like other people’s does, so just because it worked for them doesn’t mean it’s gonna be able to help me.’
When really, underneath all of those objections, all those years I lingered in Unhappyville, was someone who was terrified to try something new. I didn’t want to even attempt because I didn’t want to fail and if I never tried then I could never fail. And in some strange way, that gave me hope and comfort for the future.
But the reality is, we create the future by the choices we make in the present.
If someone had told me then, that failure wasn’t possible, that even in attempting to reach my ideal that I would become a different person – someone who actually enjoyed life, then maybe I would’ve tried earlier… Maybe I would’ve been willing to take the support that was offered.
If someone would’ve told me then that what people judge in me is what they’re judging in themselves, well then maybe I wouldn’t have been so afraid of being judged by others. Maybe I wouldn’t have been so closeted and hesitant to share the truth of my tortured internal reality. Maybe… Maybe not.
I can’t go back in time and change things, nor would I want to. At this stage, I am 100% content with the way my life has unfolded and is continuing to unfold. And my heart swells and my eyes water at the every thought of the contrast. I feel a flurry of emotion writing this because I want you to know if that isn’t your current experience, it can be. I promise you it’s possible.
It just takes some courage, commitment, and quality brain training and voila: ANYTHING YOU DESIRE IS POSSIBLE.
None of our lives are perfect until we train our brains to see the perfection in what’s there. This moment is perfect and the next one can be too, even if it’s perfection of a completely different type. Life gets a whole lot better as we deepen in our own ability to appreciate perfection here and now.
Befriend Your Brain, my free 5 day challenge is a great place to start practicing. It kicks off tomorrow and there’s still some time to register. I’d love for you to join me.