How to Find the Guru Best for You: Check in Your Mirror
By: Deb Maes
November 13, 2013
I’m sure you’ve had this experience…
You read a book and or listen to a motivational speaker and you get the answer you’ve been looking for. Your mind opens and you gain Insight! …You chat with your coach and the cloud lifts. It all becomes clear.
You say, “What would I do without you?”!
They asked the questions that made all the difference.
“They are so smart”, you think.
Don’t want to burst your bubble, but no one other than you can be the expert best for you. You, and only you, have lived every moment of your life, and yet even you don’t know all of who you are. How can it possibly be that another person can know your truth better than you?
What I can tell you for certain, after conducting thousands of coaching sessions and speaking all over the world to audiences on many topics, your breakthrough has more to do with your own truth than that of the expert or guru. How come I can ask the exact question to two people and one gets an epiphany and the other doesn’t? How come I can speak to hundreds of people and a few go, “OMG! That changes everything”, and they do (change everything) and the rest don’t?
It’s like the Irish poet, William Yeats, said,
“If what I say resonates with you, it is merely because we are both branches of the same tree.
Sure, sources outside yourself can be a value in helping shine a light in areas you may not have looked. But it’s not like they are showing you something that you don’t already know. If it did not already resign in you, you would not be able to recognise it as a truth.
When you feel a resonance with what someone says, it’s like they are hold a mirror at the right angle, at the right moment, and you’re watching in the right way to catch yourself in the reflection. But …
You’ve traveled the path to be there.
You had the readiness to listen.
That’s how you got to resonate.
In these moments, our desire for human connection will make us want to value their contribution and share the success. However, you can do this in balance with honouring yourself and your own wisdom.
Rather than saying, “They gave me the answer”, you can say , “They said something that I know is true”. Or rather than, “They’re so wise”, you might acknowledge , “Your wisdom resonates with me.”
In this way, you can pay your respects while becoming increasingly aware of the wisdom and resources that reside in you.
Like one young woman so eloquently expressed,
“I now realise everything I have and everything I will ever need … all the tools, are within me.
“I’ve always had them. I just hadn’t been aware or able to access them. But, now I am learning how”.
This is indeed what a competent coach can do for you … holding the mirror and shining the light on you and your tools and perhaps even modelling how to use those tools you already have inside you.